Feels like home

Adjusting to college life has been the complete opposite of how I always imagined it. All throughout high school I dreamed of living alone and making my own rules, but as move in day quickly approached I realized everything I had wanted to get away from were the things that were holding me back. I was no longer dying to get away from my parents and sisters. I no longer hated my high school. Instead, I was nervous about being all alone and desperate for the comfort of my old school. I quickly understood that I had a uniquely close group of friends that would be hard to live without, and I was worried how I would be able to make new friends without replacing my old ones.

Moving in and starting rush the same night was probably the most intimidating experience in my life because I had never been the new person at a school. After attending the same school since kindergarten I was used to welcoming new people but I had never been on the other side, so “out of my comfort zone” is an understatement to how I felt walking into Coleman Coliseum with almost 1500 girls I didn’t know. Needless to say I made it through the week and the whole experience forced me to realize that I was not the only one feeling homesick or unsure. Despite the exciting experience at school I have had so far, I was anxious to return home.

As I walked into my house for the first time I felt a comfort that has been missing for the past month. Away from the constant activity on a college campus I was able to recognize how I have changed in such a short amount of time. My little sister is no longer a pain in the butt, and I actually looked forward to taking her and her friend shopping for a few hours. Helping my mom clean up after dinner was no longer a chore because I was suddenly appreciative of her cooking and the time we got to spend together. It is funny how you spend years being eager to be off on your own and assert your independence but when the time comes you hesitate. The unknown is frightening and Tuscaloosa is definitely full of “unknowns” for me. I always heard “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and “you never really know what you have until you lose it” but I never thought these would apply to college, but I have come to know that they truly do. Things I was so sick of—my parents, my house, my city, my school—are the things I miss the most now that they aren’t here. As I packed up my car and headed back to school on Sunday I finally realized that no matter how much I enjoy my new independence, nothing can replace the feeling of home.